The Inkwell

NASSAU, The Bahamas, Feb. 13 /PRNewswire/ — Just in time for Valentine’s Day, The Islands Of The Bahamas are giving the gift of love to couples dreaming of getting married but have to put plans on hold due to the current economic recession. Since weddings should be a happy and exciting time, The Bahamas Ministry of Tourism is announcing the “Bahamas Bridal Bailout” contest, whereby brides and grooms-to be whose wedding plans have been affected by the economy can enter for their chance to be “bailed out” and win one of five free destination weddings in The Bahamas.
Beginning on February 13, interested couples can go to www.bahamas.com/bridalbailout to secure full contest details and begin creating their entries — either a short video or an essay with photo — explaining why they should be “bailed out” by The Bahamas. The official submission period is March 20 through April 24, when couples can upload their entries to www.bahamas.com/bridalbailout. On April 25, the contest site will be open to all consumers to view the various entries and vote for their favorites until May 17. The top 20 entries that receive the highest number of votes will be reviewed by a panel of judges, who will choose five couples to win free weddings in The Bahamas!
The five winning couples will experience why “It’s Better in The Bahamas” with a dream wedding that includes airfare for the bride, groom and up to eight guests, five complimentary rooms, a wedding cake, photographer, flowers and more and will take place at the following resorts:

  --  Old Bahama Bay by Ginn Sur Mer - an elegant and tranquil Grand Bahama
      Island resort, boasting luxurious accommodations, sparkling white sand
      beaches and breathtaking ocean views.

  --  Pelican Bay at Lucaya - a charming boutique resort located just steps
      from Grand Bahama Island's entertainment center and offering
      tropically decorated suites and complimentary continental breakfast
      each morning

  --  Sheraton Nassau Beach Resort - ideally situated on a 1,000-foot
      stretch of Nassau's most spectacular white-sand beach and featuring
      seven acres of stunning waterscape, three freshwater pools with
      waterfalls, a swim-up bar and Jacuzzis nestled in a tropical landscape

  --  SuperClub Breezes - an all-inclusive tropical escape with a
      spectacular beachfront setting that boasts unparalleled water sports,
      three fresh water pools, a rock-climbing wall, tennis and the
      full-service Blue Mahoe spa.

  --  Wyndham Nassau Resort & Crystal Palace Casino - located on one of the
      world's most beautiful beaches and offering inspiring views, eight
      restaurants & lounges, a Vegas style casino, an ocean front pool with
      spiral water slide and much more.

The Bahamas Bridal Bailout contest offers a great positive start for couples who may otherwise have to postpone their marriage. For more information and contest details, please visit www.bahamas.com/bridalbailout.
Life in the 700 Islands Of The Bahamas just keeps getting better. And it’s easy to see why. With world-class diving and fishing, miles of picture perfect beaches, and gorgeous turquoise water, visitors have the opportunity to do everything or nothing at all. From Exuma, Eleuthera and Abaco to exciting Nassau/Paradise Island and Grand Bahama Island, this tropical paradise is as culturally diverse as it is vibrantly beautiful. For more information on travel packages, activities and accommodations, call 1-800-Bahamas or visit www.Bahamas.com. To purchase one-of-a-kind items and mementos from The Bahamas, visit www.eshopbahamas.com.

10 Weeks of Mardi Gras Madness in Orlando

Starting February 7, Universal Studios Orlando is hosting its annual Mardi Gras event with Cajun cuisine, Mardi Gras parade in Universal Orlando’s “French Quarter” and more music than you can throw your beads at.

Universal Studios Orlando two park annual passes are just $99.99 and single admission passes are $74 to $90. Mardi Gras concerts are free with the cost of admission.

So who the heck is performing?

February 7 — KC and the Sunshine Band
February 14 — Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons
February 15 — The Village People
February 21 — Ne-Yo
February 28 — Pat Benatar
March 7 — Barenaked Ladies
March 14 — Montgomery Gentry
March 21 — Collective Soul
March 27 — Boys Like Girls
March 28 — Kelly Clarkson
April 4 — MC Hammer
April 11 — Trace Adkins
April 18 — Nelly

Also performing in the French Quarter are authentic zydeco and blues performers straight from the bayou. French Quarter bands play at 5:00, 6:15 and 7:00 from February 7 to March 28 and 5:00, 6:15 and 8:00 from April 4 to April 18.

Featured performers are:

February 7      Big Red and the Zydeco Playmakers
February 14     Lil Malcom and the House Rockers
February 15 — Lil Malcom and the House Rockers
February 21 — The Daddy Mack Blues Band
February 28 — Chris Klein and the Boulevards
March 7 — Rockin’ Jake
March 14 — Mem Shannon & The Membership
March 21 — Honey Island Swamp Band
March 27 — Jumpin’ Johnny Sansone
March 28 — Jumpin’ Johnny Sansone
April 4 — Soul Project
April 11 — Lil Nathan and the Zydeco Big Timers
April 18 — Lil Brian & the Zydeco Travelers

Learn more at www.UniversalOrlando.com/MardiGras. For all the latest updates text “Mardi” to 64646, standard texting rates apply.

This week started off on a very bad note. I wrote an article for Associated Content and cited a story from a reputable travel website. They broke a scandalous story about the star of a popular series of viral videos. They had a video of him claiming that he faked the whole thing, he wasn’t who he said he was, and his videos were all composed of special effects.

I whipped up a version of the story and put it on Associated Content within a few hours of hearing about it. Luckily, Associated Content buried the story deep in their tech news section so very few people read it.

The day after it was published I got an e mail from the gentleman who starred in the videos. He was incensed that I would perpetuate an obviously fabricated rumor.

That hit me hard.

I never thought the reputable travel website would publish false information. And I felt horrible for regurgitating it, assuming it was a real story without digging deeper. Because of my article, the star of the videos was in trouble with his sponsor.

I e mailed him back and apologized profusely. I explained to him that the website’s commentary combined with his convincing looking video led me to write the article without even considering it could be a huge mistake.

The article was removed, the video star and I are now on good terms, and I learned a HUGE lesson about writing. Check, check, re-check the story before publishing.

Wow, yesterday we had awards for stupidity, today we have something called “The Obsessies”. ImNotObsessed.com is a safe for work/safe for family celebrity blog. They recently polled their viewers to find out what they though of celebrity behavior in 2008. Here are some of the highlights.

Celebrity Train Wreck

Winning by a landslide was Amy Winehouse. She’s got a killer voice but the drugs, the hair, the teeth, the impetigo… this girl has earned that title.

Favorite New Mom

Nicole Richie is the the recipient of this Obsessy? Obsessie? What a turnaround Nicole has made! Everyone loves a Cinderella story and baby Harlow has certainly turned Nicole Richie into a diva mom.

Celebrity You Wish Would Be Silent

Gosh, how do you pick just one? Rosie O’Donnell just barely edged out Kanye West and Miley Cyrus for this Obsessie. Miley Cyrus is just plain annoying but Rosie and Kanye can’t seem to say anything nice. Ever. I’m pretty sure they both think their farts smell like roses, too.

Read the full list of winners and runners up at http://www.imnotobsessed.com/

So there’s this guy, and I can’t tell if he calls himself Mega Genius or if Mega Genius is the name of his get smart program. I can say for sure that Mr. Mega Genius goes around calling himself “The Man With the Perfect IQ”. I don’t have the patience to read his website to clairify his official title, to be perfectly honest. But Mega Genius just released his “Stupidest Statements Awards” for 2008 and they’re really entertaining. The statements themselves are comical but even better are his snarky little comments. Mega Genius issued a press release on January 2 of the Top 10 Stupidest Statements.

1. Vijay Prakash, Indian welfare minister, for urging 5-star hotels to serve rat burgers, rat tail pasta, and minced baby rat meat: “It is very high in protein and the beauty is that we have billions of rats.” August 13, 2008. (Mega Genius: “Does it go well with the Indian custom of drinking urine?”)
2. The editors of Wine Spectator, America’s largest-selling wine publication, for the honor they accidentally bestowed upon Osteria L’Intrepido, a fake restaurant with a high-priced “reserve wine list” compiled from the magazine’s lowest-scoring Italian wines: “Wine Spectator Award of Excellence.” August 2008 issue. (Mega Genius: “You may want to have your blood alcohol levels checked.”)
3. Sarah Palin, US Republican Party’s vice-presidential nominee, for her response to a challenge to name a Supreme Court decision that she disagreed with, besides Roe v. Wade: “Well, let’s see. There’s, of course in the great history of America there have been rulings, that’s never going to be absolute consensus by every American.” October 1, 2008. (Mega Genius: “I think I pulled something in my neck from cringing so hard.”)
4. Mike Huckabee, US Republican Party’s presidential candidate, for his disclosure to South Carolinians: “We used to take a popcorn popper, because that was the only thing they would let us use in the dorm, and we would fry squirrels in the popcorn popper.” January 16, 2008. (Mega Genius: “I think that qualifies you as an avant-garde chef in India.”)
5. Joseph Biden, US Democratic Party’s Vice President-elect, for his recognition of State Senator Chuck Graham, a paraplegic confined to a wheelchair, at a rally in Missouri: “Chuck, stand up, Chuck. Let ‘em see ya.” September 9, 2008. (Mega Genius: “Senator Biden’s speeches are not that inspirational.”)
6. Prince Harry, third in line to the British Throne, for his admission about his country: “I generally don’t like England that much.” February 2008. (Mega Genius: “It’s just so aggravating there, being treated like royalty.”)
7. John McCain, US Republican Party’s presidential nominee, for his revelation when asked if he prefers a Mac or PC: “Neither. I’m - I’m a - illiterate that has to rely on my wife for all the assistance I can get.” January 2008. (Mega Genius: “Again, why was he a presidential nominee?”)
8. Hillary Rodham Clinton, former US First Lady and Democratic Party’s presidential candidate, for her tale of gunfire and evasive action on a trip to Bosnia, in 1996, which video footage revealed never occurred: “I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base.” March 17, 2008. (Mega Genius: “Then she dreamed that she was a ‘00,’ with a license to kill.”)
9. Barack Obama, US Democratic Party’s President-elect, for incorrectly totaling his country’s 50 states during a campaign event in Oregon: “Over the last 15 months, we’ve traveled to every corner of the United States. I’ve now been in 57 states, I think - one left to go.” May 9, 2008. (Mega Genius: “Well, he did promise change to America.”)
10. Oprah Winfrey, American television icon, self-image advisor, and author of a soon-to-be-published weight-loss book, for her bewilderment at her current obese body mass index of 31.8 and weight of 200 pounds (90.7 kg): “How did I let this happen again?” December 9, 2008. (Mega Genius: “My guess is that you have been overeating. May I suggest an Indian diet?”)

www.megagenius.com

Ahh! Make it stop! Make the rhetoric stop, at least for Christmas!

President Elect Barack Obama, let’s just call him Pebo for short, made headlines this week when he chose mega-minister Rick Warren to pray at the upcoming inauguration. Cool, good for both of them. Rick Warren presides over a 22,000 member church in Orange County, California and is the best selling author of “The Purpose Driven Life”. He’s well loved all around the world.

But why, oh why has he chosen  to deliver a “Message of Hope for Changing Times”? Hope and change in the same sermon? I can’t take it anymore! The election is over. I don’t want to hear another word about hope or change. Anymore!

I’m not a curmudgeon or a grinch, honest. And I’m certainly not against hope. But don’t preach to us about change! Sure, times are changing. But if we assume that the only engines of change are God and government, we rule out the idea of free will. And I am the one who controls my destiny. I am the one who can change my own life. I don’t need a Christmas homily or an inauguration speech to make change happen for me.

You better watch out, you better not die! Orlando crime is way up for 2008 with a record 123 homicides this year. How’s that for your “happiest place on earth?” Sadly, tourists will never learn of this shocking statistic because the lure of all the magical brooms sweeping it under the rug.

Let’s compare Orlando to similarly populated cites. The population of Orlando is 227,907. When we examine Baton Rouge, Louisiana, population 227,071, there have been 48 murders in 2008. Madison, Wisconsin is the next closest city with a population of 228,775 and a mere six murders as of September.

Just to clairfy:

Baton Rouge: 48 homicides

Madison: 6 homicides

Orlando: 123 homicides

So think twice before you plan your Disney vacation. Orlando is not as magical as it appears in the glossy brochures.

Sources:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_States_cities_by_population

http://brgov.com/dept/brpd/csr/

http://althouse.blogspot.com/2008/09/another-madison-murder.html

http://www.theledger.com/article/20081222/NEWS/812220320?Title=Orlando_Area_Breaks_Murder_Record_With_123

What is wrong with the world we live in? We have perfectly useless inventions like bacon flavored dental floss and toast stamps but we can’t come up with a cure for cancer.

Investors Business Daily just reported yesterday that Noscapine, a common ingredient in cough syrup, dramatically reduces tumors in cases of prostate cancer. Noscapine is a nonaddictive derivative of opium, and when used to treat lab rats with cancer, it reduced tumor growth by 60% and slowed the spread of tumors by 65%. And it has ZERO side effects.

With such a miraculous substance on drugstore shelves, why isn’t it being used to treat cancer?

Because Noscapine is a naturally occurring substance that CAN’T BE PATENTED. Because drug makers can’t make money from it, they aren’t mass producing it.

WE HAVE A NEAR CURE FOR PROSTATE CANCER BUT WE CAN’T HAVE IT.

All because of money. What a pile of crap.

Yahoo! revealed their Top 10 most searched brat pack stars, so I looked into my crystal ball to see what their futures hold.

1. Miley Cyrus
2008 was an immensely popular year for Miley Cyrus. Not necessarily because of her vocal prowess, but because her clothes kept falling off. On MySpace, in Vanity Fair, in hot tubs. This girl has some issues, no doubt. I imagine her singing career will fizzle out soon but she might have a future hosting Extra! after she unseats Mario Lopez in Mark McGrath style coup.

2. Vanessa Anne Hudgens
I’ll admit, I don’t really know what Vanessa Hudgens is known for besides being Nick Lachey’s girlfriend. Oops, nope, just checked IMDb and she’s one of those precocious High School Musical kiddos. Vanessa Minnillo is Lachey’s gal. Anyway, wait… I remember now, Hudgens had trouble keeping her clothes on in 2008, too! Some photos were leaked on the internet of her and #9 Zac Efron making sexytime poses for the camera! Is she just another Disney darling on that slippery slope to rehab? No one knows. But I think once there is no more HSM, no more Hudgens.

3. Chris Brown

Chris Brown is a trophy magnet with, among others, his Artist of the Year prize from the American Music Awards. He’s an impeccable dresser, keeps his love life to himself (just come out and say you’re dating Rihanna already), he gets celebrity endorsement gigs and he donates to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. He seems like a decent guy. Even if the performing thing gets old, I have a feeling he’ll be working behind the scenes way into the future.

4. Jonas Brothers
Le sigh. The Jonas Brothers are so prefabricated it turns my stomach. Long blurb short, they have three years left before they’re in real estate school learning from Professor Jonathan Knight.

5. Rihanna
Rihanna, the sweetheart of the Caribbean turned pop superstar, has more legs to stand on (what does that mean?) than any of these other hooligans. She’s talented, she knows her shortcuts to the top of the Billboard charts and gosh darn it, she’s never had any nudie pictures “leak” out to the internet. Bravo, Rihanna!

6. Taylor Swift

Seriously, what is the big deal about this girl? She is an alleged country star, except I can’t figure out where they put the country in her act, she had a scandalous breakup with a Jonas Brother, and she’s pretty. I think she’ll be around for another ten years, still making boring “country” but settling down with some country hunk to become the next Faith and Tim.

7. Jamie Lynn Spears
A Haiku

Pregnant teen starlet
Hollywood doesn’t call now
Kentwood is good ‘Wood

Thank you! Barack, call me, honey, when you’re looking for a Poet Laureate! So, scandal erupted with Jamie Lynn Spears’ clothes fell off and she got knocked up. This is a major blessing considering the brutal beatings the press has delivered to her sister Britney. You have to wonder if this baby saved her from a life full of mistakes, potentially to be played out for the tabloids. Jamie Lynn’s time as a teen sensation has come to a close.

8. Hayden Panettiere
Super gorgeous, super talented, activist, Grammy nominee, fashion maven, Hayden Panettiere can do no wrong. Perhaps best know for her role as the cheerleader on “Heroes”, Panettiere began her acting career when she was just five years old. She hasn’t fallen into any of the nude photo traps that the rest of these bimbos have, so that automatically adds five years onto her career. Hayden will be around until she hits middle age and there are suddenly no jobs left for her in Hollywood, leaving her with outstanding potential for a mid-50s comeback.

9. Zac Efron
Get ready. Here comes the curmudgeon. What is up with Zac Efron’s hair? It’s like a squirrel or a bunny died up there. Sheesh. Efron is yet another Disney product to emerge from the High School Musical franchise. He has dewy skin and manscaped brows, and, oh yeah, he and his girlfriend Vanessa Hudgens were naked on the internet. Gosh, this trend is getting boring. I think Efron will probably do well until he outgrows his baby face. Is Botox in his future?

10. Selena Gomez
While Miley Cyrus was in hiding after her “embarrassing” Vanity Fair photos came out, Disney gave Selena Gomez their Most Favored Cash Cow award. In 2004 she was discovered by Disney and they won’t let her go. They placed her in “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody”, “Hannah Montana”, a “Zack and Cody” spin-off which was never picked up, and a “Lizzie Maguire” spin-off that was never picked up. So Disney created another vehicle for her called “Wizards of Waverly Place” which is doing quite well. Since she has one of the most important studios bending over backwards for her, and given their track record with talent like Miley Cyrus and Vanessa Hudgens, I expect by 2010 she will have taken off her clothes for all the internet to see. For now, let’s enjoy her innocence.

Here’s the short story: Warren Buffett’s granddaughter Nicole Buffett said some things on Oprah that pissed him off so he stopped giving her money.

Now Nicole Buffett is struggling to make ends meet. Her career as an artist is bringing in $40k but, poor thing, she can’t afford CABLE! She whines that all the other grandchildren get handouts from grandpa except her.

This pisses me off, dear readers. Warren Buffett made his own money. He is allowed to do with his money whatever the heck he wants. Ask any artist and I’m sure they’d love to be making $40k to do what they love. Can someone please slap this girl and tell her that cable is a privilege, not a right?

About ten years ago I had to cancel my cable subscription because I couldn’t afford it. It was a wonderful thing! I had time to pursue hobbies and read books. I never realized how much time I spent in front of the TV until I got rid of cable. And I haven’t had it since, even though I can now afford it.

Good for you, Warren Buffet. Thank you for sticking up for what is right and not greasing the palm of your lazy granddaughter.