The Inkwell

This week started off on a very bad note. I wrote an article for Associated Content and cited a story from a reputable travel website. They broke a scandalous story about the star of a popular series of viral videos. They had a video of him claiming that he faked the whole thing, he wasn’t who he said he was, and his videos were all composed of special effects.

I whipped up a version of the story and put it on Associated Content within a few hours of hearing about it. Luckily, Associated Content buried the story deep in their tech news section so very few people read it.

The day after it was published I got an e mail from the gentleman who starred in the videos. He was incensed that I would perpetuate an obviously fabricated rumor.

That hit me hard.

I never thought the reputable travel website would publish false information. And I felt horrible for regurgitating it, assuming it was a real story without digging deeper. Because of my article, the star of the videos was in trouble with his sponsor.

I e mailed him back and apologized profusely. I explained to him that the website’s commentary combined with his convincing looking video led me to write the article without even considering it could be a huge mistake.

The article was removed, the video star and I are now on good terms, and I learned a HUGE lesson about writing. Check, check, re-check the story before publishing.

Wow, yesterday we had awards for stupidity, today we have something called “The Obsessies”. ImNotObsessed.com is a safe for work/safe for family celebrity blog. They recently polled their viewers to find out what they though of celebrity behavior in 2008. Here are some of the highlights.

Celebrity Train Wreck

Winning by a landslide was Amy Winehouse. She’s got a killer voice but the drugs, the hair, the teeth, the impetigo… this girl has earned that title.

Favorite New Mom

Nicole Richie is the the recipient of this Obsessy? Obsessie? What a turnaround Nicole has made! Everyone loves a Cinderella story and baby Harlow has certainly turned Nicole Richie into a diva mom.

Celebrity You Wish Would Be Silent

Gosh, how do you pick just one? Rosie O’Donnell just barely edged out Kanye West and Miley Cyrus for this Obsessie. Miley Cyrus is just plain annoying but Rosie and Kanye can’t seem to say anything nice. Ever. I’m pretty sure they both think their farts smell like roses, too.

Read the full list of winners and runners up at http://www.imnotobsessed.com/

So there’s this guy, and I can’t tell if he calls himself Mega Genius or if Mega Genius is the name of his get smart program. I can say for sure that Mr. Mega Genius goes around calling himself “The Man With the Perfect IQ”. I don’t have the patience to read his website to clairify his official title, to be perfectly honest. But Mega Genius just released his “Stupidest Statements Awards” for 2008 and they’re really entertaining. The statements themselves are comical but even better are his snarky little comments. Mega Genius issued a press release on January 2 of the Top 10 Stupidest Statements.

1. Vijay Prakash, Indian welfare minister, for urging 5-star hotels to serve rat burgers, rat tail pasta, and minced baby rat meat: “It is very high in protein and the beauty is that we have billions of rats.” August 13, 2008. (Mega Genius: “Does it go well with the Indian custom of drinking urine?”)
2. The editors of Wine Spectator, America’s largest-selling wine publication, for the honor they accidentally bestowed upon Osteria L’Intrepido, a fake restaurant with a high-priced “reserve wine list” compiled from the magazine’s lowest-scoring Italian wines: “Wine Spectator Award of Excellence.” August 2008 issue. (Mega Genius: “You may want to have your blood alcohol levels checked.”)
3. Sarah Palin, US Republican Party’s vice-presidential nominee, for her response to a challenge to name a Supreme Court decision that she disagreed with, besides Roe v. Wade: “Well, let’s see. There’s, of course in the great history of America there have been rulings, that’s never going to be absolute consensus by every American.” October 1, 2008. (Mega Genius: “I think I pulled something in my neck from cringing so hard.”)
4. Mike Huckabee, US Republican Party’s presidential candidate, for his disclosure to South Carolinians: “We used to take a popcorn popper, because that was the only thing they would let us use in the dorm, and we would fry squirrels in the popcorn popper.” January 16, 2008. (Mega Genius: “I think that qualifies you as an avant-garde chef in India.”)
5. Joseph Biden, US Democratic Party’s Vice President-elect, for his recognition of State Senator Chuck Graham, a paraplegic confined to a wheelchair, at a rally in Missouri: “Chuck, stand up, Chuck. Let ‘em see ya.” September 9, 2008. (Mega Genius: “Senator Biden’s speeches are not that inspirational.”)
6. Prince Harry, third in line to the British Throne, for his admission about his country: “I generally don’t like England that much.” February 2008. (Mega Genius: “It’s just so aggravating there, being treated like royalty.”)
7. John McCain, US Republican Party’s presidential nominee, for his revelation when asked if he prefers a Mac or PC: “Neither. I’m - I’m a - illiterate that has to rely on my wife for all the assistance I can get.” January 2008. (Mega Genius: “Again, why was he a presidential nominee?”)
8. Hillary Rodham Clinton, former US First Lady and Democratic Party’s presidential candidate, for her tale of gunfire and evasive action on a trip to Bosnia, in 1996, which video footage revealed never occurred: “I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base.” March 17, 2008. (Mega Genius: “Then she dreamed that she was a ‘00,’ with a license to kill.”)
9. Barack Obama, US Democratic Party’s President-elect, for incorrectly totaling his country’s 50 states during a campaign event in Oregon: “Over the last 15 months, we’ve traveled to every corner of the United States. I’ve now been in 57 states, I think - one left to go.” May 9, 2008. (Mega Genius: “Well, he did promise change to America.”)
10. Oprah Winfrey, American television icon, self-image advisor, and author of a soon-to-be-published weight-loss book, for her bewilderment at her current obese body mass index of 31.8 and weight of 200 pounds (90.7 kg): “How did I let this happen again?” December 9, 2008. (Mega Genius: “My guess is that you have been overeating. May I suggest an Indian diet?”)

www.megagenius.com

Yahoo! revealed their Top 10 most searched brat pack stars, so I looked into my crystal ball to see what their futures hold.

1. Miley Cyrus
2008 was an immensely popular year for Miley Cyrus. Not necessarily because of her vocal prowess, but because her clothes kept falling off. On MySpace, in Vanity Fair, in hot tubs. This girl has some issues, no doubt. I imagine her singing career will fizzle out soon but she might have a future hosting Extra! after she unseats Mario Lopez in Mark McGrath style coup.

2. Vanessa Anne Hudgens
I’ll admit, I don’t really know what Vanessa Hudgens is known for besides being Nick Lachey’s girlfriend. Oops, nope, just checked IMDb and she’s one of those precocious High School Musical kiddos. Vanessa Minnillo is Lachey’s gal. Anyway, wait… I remember now, Hudgens had trouble keeping her clothes on in 2008, too! Some photos were leaked on the internet of her and #9 Zac Efron making sexytime poses for the camera! Is she just another Disney darling on that slippery slope to rehab? No one knows. But I think once there is no more HSM, no more Hudgens.

3. Chris Brown

Chris Brown is a trophy magnet with, among others, his Artist of the Year prize from the American Music Awards. He’s an impeccable dresser, keeps his love life to himself (just come out and say you’re dating Rihanna already), he gets celebrity endorsement gigs and he donates to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. He seems like a decent guy. Even if the performing thing gets old, I have a feeling he’ll be working behind the scenes way into the future.

4. Jonas Brothers
Le sigh. The Jonas Brothers are so prefabricated it turns my stomach. Long blurb short, they have three years left before they’re in real estate school learning from Professor Jonathan Knight.

5. Rihanna
Rihanna, the sweetheart of the Caribbean turned pop superstar, has more legs to stand on (what does that mean?) than any of these other hooligans. She’s talented, she knows her shortcuts to the top of the Billboard charts and gosh darn it, she’s never had any nudie pictures “leak” out to the internet. Bravo, Rihanna!

6. Taylor Swift

Seriously, what is the big deal about this girl? She is an alleged country star, except I can’t figure out where they put the country in her act, she had a scandalous breakup with a Jonas Brother, and she’s pretty. I think she’ll be around for another ten years, still making boring “country” but settling down with some country hunk to become the next Faith and Tim.

7. Jamie Lynn Spears
A Haiku

Pregnant teen starlet
Hollywood doesn’t call now
Kentwood is good ‘Wood

Thank you! Barack, call me, honey, when you’re looking for a Poet Laureate! So, scandal erupted with Jamie Lynn Spears’ clothes fell off and she got knocked up. This is a major blessing considering the brutal beatings the press has delivered to her sister Britney. You have to wonder if this baby saved her from a life full of mistakes, potentially to be played out for the tabloids. Jamie Lynn’s time as a teen sensation has come to a close.

8. Hayden Panettiere
Super gorgeous, super talented, activist, Grammy nominee, fashion maven, Hayden Panettiere can do no wrong. Perhaps best know for her role as the cheerleader on “Heroes”, Panettiere began her acting career when she was just five years old. She hasn’t fallen into any of the nude photo traps that the rest of these bimbos have, so that automatically adds five years onto her career. Hayden will be around until she hits middle age and there are suddenly no jobs left for her in Hollywood, leaving her with outstanding potential for a mid-50s comeback.

9. Zac Efron
Get ready. Here comes the curmudgeon. What is up with Zac Efron’s hair? It’s like a squirrel or a bunny died up there. Sheesh. Efron is yet another Disney product to emerge from the High School Musical franchise. He has dewy skin and manscaped brows, and, oh yeah, he and his girlfriend Vanessa Hudgens were naked on the internet. Gosh, this trend is getting boring. I think Efron will probably do well until he outgrows his baby face. Is Botox in his future?

10. Selena Gomez
While Miley Cyrus was in hiding after her “embarrassing” Vanity Fair photos came out, Disney gave Selena Gomez their Most Favored Cash Cow award. In 2004 she was discovered by Disney and they won’t let her go. They placed her in “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody”, “Hannah Montana”, a “Zack and Cody” spin-off which was never picked up, and a “Lizzie Maguire” spin-off that was never picked up. So Disney created another vehicle for her called “Wizards of Waverly Place” which is doing quite well. Since she has one of the most important studios bending over backwards for her, and given their track record with talent like Miley Cyrus and Vanessa Hudgens, I expect by 2010 she will have taken off her clothes for all the internet to see. For now, let’s enjoy her innocence.

Here’s the short story: Warren Buffett’s granddaughter Nicole Buffett said some things on Oprah that pissed him off so he stopped giving her money.

Now Nicole Buffett is struggling to make ends meet. Her career as an artist is bringing in $40k but, poor thing, she can’t afford CABLE! She whines that all the other grandchildren get handouts from grandpa except her.

This pisses me off, dear readers. Warren Buffett made his own money. He is allowed to do with his money whatever the heck he wants. Ask any artist and I’m sure they’d love to be making $40k to do what they love. Can someone please slap this girl and tell her that cable is a privilege, not a right?

About ten years ago I had to cancel my cable subscription because I couldn’t afford it. It was a wonderful thing! I had time to pursue hobbies and read books. I never realized how much time I spent in front of the TV until I got rid of cable. And I haven’t had it since, even though I can now afford it.

Good for you, Warren Buffet. Thank you for sticking up for what is right and not greasing the palm of your lazy granddaughter.

Well, gee, the should’ve issued it in ten parts. Honestly! Who dropped the ball there?

I don’t think there’s any album that takes me back to high school quite like Pearl Jam’s Ten. The whole grunge experience was so new and exciting to me back then. I remember listening to Ten on bus rides after volleyball games, all my mix tapes contained a Pearl Jam track, I can remember classmates making remarks on certain tracks - why they did or did not like them. Ah, the good old days.

Pearl Jam is releasing a new collector’s edition of Ten in March with the remasterered original album, a remixed album by long-time producer Brendan O’Brien, awesome new cover art spearheaded by bassist Jeff Ament and a replica demo tape with old school recordings of “Alive”, “Once” and “Footsteps”.

Ament says of the “Momma Son” demo tape,

“I think the first time that [vocalist Eddie Vedder] or I had opened any of those boxes was a few weeks ago. I knew that the original ‘Momma-Son’ cassette was somewhere, but I hadn’t listened to it in 17, 18, 19 years. It was cool to sit down and play it for the first time with Ed and see his reaction. And to find that 90% of it stayed exactly the same as what ended up on the record. A lot of elements were identical. There was some energy flying around at that point even from 1,300 miles away from Seattle to San Diego.”

I can’t wait to see how it turns out.

Beyonce is hot, hot, hot! Did you see her performance on the American Music Awards? No doubt it’s on YouTube by now. If you haven’t seen it, go look it up. Beyonce is the new Tina Turner.

I really want to hate her. I think a lot of people want to hate her for her Diana Ross-like ego during the Destiny’s Child days, the Photoshop effects to lighten her skin, her disdain for anyone who upstages her… shall I go on?

Anyway, Beyonce was amazing tonight. I couldn’t take my eyes off her dancers who busted some killer Ike-and-Tina-Meet-Bob-Fosse style moves in five inch heels and leotards. Leotards, people! Nothing was left to the imagination, yet the whole performance was the opposite of skanky.

Beyonce proved she can sing, dance, swing her hairpiece around and totally fire up the crowd. I really don’t think I can hate her, her talent is so blinding.